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6 signs you’re still a tourist in Canada

By Morgane Croissant On
February 26,
2014 · 4
Comments

Photo: edwademd

So you bought a red plaid
shirt, you trained yourself to say “washroom,” and you hum Neil Young songs all
day long — but, despite your efforts, you still stick out like a sore thumb in
Canada. Here’s why.

1. You love the weather.

(via)

You can’t get enough of the weather here. When every Canadian is freaking out
because of a snowfall warning, frantically checking the forecast for some better
news, you’re rubbing your hands in anticipation. What’s not to like about
walking in the snow, hearing it crunch under your boots, and realizing yours are
the only footprints out there? Well, according to the locals, the correct
responses are: “Driving conditions are horrible,” “I hate shoveling,” and “I
can’t wait for all that crap to melt.”

Even when the temperatures are well below zero, you remain excited (but you
keep your mouth shut in case those around you decide to cut off your supply of
maple syrup). The hell with slippery sidewalks and frostbite — Canadian weather
rocks your world!

2. You’re baffled by the national sport.

(via)

You’ve watched a few games to make your friends happy, but really, you’re not
a fan. Hockey is one of Canada’s biggest obsessions, and you hate it with equal
passion. You always want to laugh at how ridiculous players look when they
proceed to swiftly strip down for the purpose of beating each other with their
bare knuckles, but you keep quiet for fear of triggering a Vancouver-style
riot.

The game is brutal, but everyone seems proud and inspired by those toothless
beasts on skates! When you see kids watching that kind of violence, you want to
change the channel to lacrosse…a good ole friendly Canadian tradition.

3. You believe in bilingualism.

(via)

The idea of speaking French in Canada gets you excited. Isn’t it amazing that
people actually speak French that far away from France?! Upon arriving, you
thought you could just go for it and babble on in French to the uncomfortable
customs officer at the airport (who lets you through without asking any further
questions for fear of crushing your bilingualism dreams).

You’ve learnt your lesson the harsh way, and you no longer believe that every
Canadian person speaks French, but you haven’t been here long enough for this to
curb your linguistic enthusiasm! You plan on speaking French to everyone who
should be able to do so: mail carriers (“Merci pour les factures Monsieur le
facteur!”), flight attendants (“Pourrais-je parler au pilote?”), and Tim
Horton’s servers (“Un beignet bien gras, s’il-vous plaît!”).

4. You have no clue what’s happening up North.

(via)

When you think of Canada, you visualize the northern lights, the pristine
lakes, and the ecological wonders of the country…. Boy oh boy, you are so very
naïve. You’ve never heard of Fort McMurray, and some Canadians would like you to
remain in this state of ignorance because it really is damaging the country’s
reputation.

The Canadian North, especially northern Alberta, is a hub for oil and natural
gas extraction, and a centre for forestry that’s turning indigenous territories
and the boreal forest into incredibly polluted wastelands. Nowhere in your
guidebook did they talk about that, did they?

5. You’re terrified by the wildlife.

(via)

Where you grew up, the craziest thing you could encounter in the forest was a
wild boar, and frankly they’re not very scary. Since you set foot in Canada,
you’ve got a whole lot more dangerous creatures to worry about, but strangely,
you seem to be the only one who’s freaking out.

The locals have a very relaxed attitude towards wildlife, and they expect you
to do the same. With all the bears (including grizzlies), the cougars, the black
widows, and the wolverines hanging around, you’re seriously having second
thoughts about that lovely camping trip you were planning…

6. You’re still in love with Canada.

(via)

You can’t believe people get tired of living in such a beautiful place.
Hockey, environmental disasters, even the scary wildlife isn’t enough to turn
you off — you wake up in the morning, and all you see are big mountains, the
enormous forests that sit on top of them, and the beautiful lakes. You feel
grateful for the natural
wonders that surround you and wish you’d never have to leave.

Tourist!

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About The Author

Morgane Croissant

Morgane is a literature geek and a nature lover born and raised in France.
She is also Editor of Matador French.

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Croissant

Shaun

National sport is lacrosse, not hockey…

Just sayin eh.

http://matadornetwork.com/ Carlo Alcos

By technicality only…for all intents and purposes, I think we all know
hockey is Canada’s national sport. Actually, according to Wikipedia,
“Lacrosse in Canada was first declared the National Game of Canada in 1859.
In 1994 Parliament passed the Canada’s National Sport Act which declared
lacrosse to be “Canada’s National Summer Sport”, with hockey as the national
winter sport.” Although I’m still willing to bet there are more people
playing street and ball hockey across Canada in the summer than people
playing lacrosse.

Katie O

Born here, lived here for the better part of 30 years and I’m still in love

Jay

What about curling?

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