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13 moments of culture shock for the first-time American
traveler

By Vicki Jones On September 10,
2013 · 15
Comments

Photo: Aaron Concannon

MY FIRST TIME ABROAD, I knew things were going to be different the moment I
saw my European host dad strip down to a speedo tighter than my bikini bottoms
and dive into the Baltic Sea. Cultural differences will surprise you, but you
have to learn to live with them to enjoy traveling.

When you realize you’re not as smart as you thought

You thought you knew it all. After all, you’ve been trained since birth to
consider yourself living in a melting pot. “Traditional ethnic foods” like
spaghetti and meatballs, burritos, and chop suey have laid the foundations for
our sophisticated, multicultural palates. If you really think so, I challenge
you to order one of these dishes in its alleged country of origin and not make a
total ass of yourself. Then, I challenge you to haggle for items like fabric
softener, tampons, or a bootleg iPhone in a bustling open-air market using your
straight-out-of-the-textbook “fluent” language skills.

Pre-departure, you thought you knew the food, the language, and the culture
of your destination. Then, you find yourself resorting to gestures and drawings
while trying to buy condoms (thanks for nothing, Spanish class), staring blankly
at people because they have a different accent than your teacher back home, and
having a public meltdown because none of the words being spoken to you were on
your vocab lists. And, by the time you mistakenly state that you’re “pregnant”
instead of “embarrassed” to your Spanish host family, fluent has taken on a
whole new meaning and you realize you don’t know anything at all.

When you’re forced to poke your head through the sunroof

Everything is small. Serving portions, refrigerators, cars, and often even
the people themselves are mini, relative to our Hummers, super-size fries, and
obesity epidemic.

I’ve spent time abroad yearning for men whose eyes weren’t at my boob level
and wasted precious days scouring stores for shoes that could accommodate my big
American feet. Besides coming to terms with these types of genetic differences
abroad, you’ll also get used to consuming the appropriate amount of food and
driving in cars that actually fit into parking spaces.

We come from the land of the unnecessarily big. When it comes to the things
we buy and consume, you’ll learn that bigger doesn’t really equal better. In
fact, it usually equals unnecessary waste and weight. If there’s one thing I’ve
taken away from my time abroad, it’s that smaller sometimes equals smarter.

When you learn there’s more than one definition of “punctual”

Without our rigid scheduling, we’d be late to work, late getting the kids
from soccer practice, and late for our Starbucks coffee break. Abroad, you’ll
find this time and scheduling junk is not an innate lifestyle.

For me, the lesson came only after the umpteenth time I’d waited an extra
hour for a man named Luis outside of a seedy metro station in Mexico City.
Evidently, our 9pm meeting time for him signified the time to shower, roll a
cigarette, and grab some tacos on the way to the metro.

Once you accept that the numbers on the clock are basically arbitrary, you’ll
stop getting pissed off at all the Luises of the world and start to arrive at
their flexible version of “on time.”

When you learn that eating’s more than just chewing

Photo: Michel
Di Feliciantonio

As it turns out, eating can serve a purpose beyond sustenance and a temporary
taste bud sensation. That deeper meaning will come once you’ve spent 5 hours at
a dinner table (flattening your ass a good bit in the process) with friends.

In many places, meal time is almost sacred — a time to connect with family
and friends until the wee hours of the morning. Aside from the company and
conversation, it’s likely that what’s on the table will get your taste buds off
more than Mac and Cheese or a pre-made bagged salad ever could. Hopefully, once
you’ve stopped making (and missing) post-dinner plans, you’ll learn to quit
shoveling food down your throat at record speed in order to catch the last half
of American Idol.

When you’re alone in a foreign land, thinking “people are so nice…”

Whoa, people — strangers — want to feed me, show me around, and introduce me
to their families? While I’m on the road, I’m always taken aback at the selfless
generosity of people I meet. They love foreigners and are genuinely concerned
that you have a great time.

Ahh, when you put positive vibes out there, you get good travel karma in
return.

When you’re alone in a foreign land, thinking “people are so mean!”

Nobody says sorry when they bump shoulders with you on the sidewalk. Your
friendly smiles at strangers are unreciprocated. Also, why doesn’t anybody have
patience with your language skills? At least you’re trying! Everybody blames you
for US foreign policy and the Bush years, even though you swear you never voted
for him.

Or maybe you’re just being overly sensitive because you’re feeling vulnerable
in a foreign country. Regardless, you start to understand the heavy
responsibility of being an ambassador to your country — patriot or not.

Read more: 8
inventions that create global culture

When you decide you actually don’t like the attention

If you have two legs and breasts, prepare for courting and cat-calls in a far
more aggressive manner than Screech’s pursuit of Lisa Turtle. This is especially
true in Latin America.

At first, I wrote these men off as disrespectful machistos and gave
them the finger. Eventually, I chilled out and was able to ignore it, the way
the local women did. After all, it’d be naive to assume people would change
their ingrained behavioral patterns on the account of one American.

When you realize that nobody bites their tongue

Your mom always told you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t
say anything at all. Really, I wonder if our euphemisms were born out of our
sensitivity or if it was the other way around. People you’re used to aren’t fat,
they’re plus-sized. Slower kids aren’t dumb, they’re special needs. Well, nobody
exercises a politically correct filter like an American does, so it’s a pretty
good idea to be prepared to be offended when you leave.

I was always getting more gordita, according to my Latino friends. I
was also la negrita, or “the little black one.” To my relief, they
weren’t hinting that I should stop eating or going in the sun. Rather, their
comments were more like endearing observations…but I did raise my eyebrows when
they referred to all people of Asian descent as Chinese.

Photo: Vitor Sá

When going up shit creek is a real thing

In many countries with weak sewage systems, it’s necessary to throw used
toilet paper in that little garbage can beside the toilet.

Whatever you do, you are absolutely not to throw it in the toilet for risk of
a clog. But if you’re prone to forgetfulness, get used to the inner to flush
or not to flush debate. You’re damned if you do, but you’re that shitty
foreigner if you don’t.

When the line between public and private begins to blur

Public displays of affection vary per country, from no physical contact to
dry-humping on a park bench. I could never tear my eyes away from the dozens of
men lying on top of their spread-eagle girlfriends at my Mexican university. I
personally saved my own full-body contact for the salsa dance floor.

But by far my favorite PDA to gawk at is that between Italian men. So
casually they stroll down the streets, arms linked, carrying on their
conversations. They kiss on the cheek as a greeting and farewell. And guess
what, American? They’re not gay.

When you kiss the ground after getting out of a taxi

In the US, we follow traffic laws mainly to avoid getting a ticket. Abroad,
it’s terrifying to see these laws function more as guidelines. Driving can be
like a game of bumper cars, only 5 times as fast and over potholed pavement.
Even more terrifying is the helmetless family of 3, their dog, and a birthday
cake swerving through traffic on a mini-scooter.

Because I survived such chaos while illegally driving a mostly
non-functioning Fiat 500 at night, in the rain, uphill, without my glasses, I
can safely reassure you that it’s possible to come out alive, without killing
anyone, and without shitting yourself.

When you realize the rest of the world knows something you don’t

One night, you’re hanging out with your friend in a plaza. “What time does
the football game start tonight?” you ask him. “19:15,” he responds. You nod
your head and play like you knew 19:15 was a time.

Then, there’s the metric system. Nothing like the embarrassment of ending up
with enough pasta to feed 25 and just 2 tomatoes for sauce to get you to study
up on your kilos and grams. And what about the time you hysterically yelled at
your taxi driver to speed to the airport because you’re still 60 kilometers
away, but you only have 30 minutes?

Study up on what the entire rest of the world knows and you’ll save time,
money, and stress.

When your arrogance is put in check

I always knew I was from America. Once, when I was 17, my Chilean friend
referred to herself as an American as well. In disagreement, I called her out.
Luckily, she immediately pointed out that I was the one who was mistaken.

Some of us forget (or just don’t know) everyone in North, Central, South
America, and the Caribbean can accurately describe themselves as American. Don’t
be one of those people.

* Note: Vicki is a student in the MatadorU Travel
Writing program.

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About The Author

Vicki Jones

Vicki has without fail been nicknamed "VickiJones!!!" across all cultural
lines she has traversed. Something she never provoked or suggested, she just
rolls with it like the laid-back California girl she is. She is a capoeirista,
photographer, travel junkie and language nut. Her close friends are convinced
that she is an undercover international spy, capable of cameleon-ing into
various cultures, and they sometimes worry that traveling to any part of the
world doesn't worry her.

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view all → Vicki Jones

Stephanie Schuck Glaser

So true, Vicki — I remember arriving in the Netherlands for a college study
abroad program and the Dutch knew Bush’s newly appointed cabinet members and
asked me my opinions on them. Yeah….ummm. I felt like such an idiot especially
since I didn’t even know who their prime minister was. I also remember a
French beach with lots of bellies hanging out over tiny Speedos.

Great article! It brought back lots of memories for
me.

Alyssa

This is really insightful! I related to pretty much all of those points and
could remember exact moments when they occurred to me. Travel is so important
for people – it cures ignorance.

Erick

wow simplemente impresionante. No cabe duda que eres los ojos de muchas
personas, donde podemos ver a través de tus lineas un mundo distinto al que
vivimos.

Milda Ratkelyte

Great article!

Serenity

MachistAs not machistOs
Just my two cents, no offense intended

carmen

So glad that your travels have reinforced what I’ve been saying all along:
we should
not travel to “Democratize” or “Americanize” the world. We
should pass freely and
accept their version of the world. In other words,
when in Rome…..

Jessica Hill

Great tips! I’ve definitely experienced several of these, and then reverse
culture shock is a whole new ball game.

Jason Ball

Great Article. I unfortunately can relate to a few of
those.

Amy McPherson

Hi Vicki, great article. Travel certainly helps us grow and understand the
world, it makes us humble, and sometimes makes us proud at the same time! Can
certainly relate

Cat of Sunshine and Siestas

Um this is hilarious. My Spanish boyfriend wears a speedo, we a share 40m2
‘house’ and could spend six hours having lunch. Spain is different, but it’s
fun!

1dad1kid

Some of these had me laughing and smiling from good memories. I remember
being surprised the 1st time I realized free refills on drinks was quite
uncommon outside the US. And I couldn’t believe the 1st time someone referred
to me as gordito. I thought for sure I was being incredibly
insulted.

Reannon Muth

This is really insightful! I could especially relate to the “eating is not
just chewing” part. As an American abroad, I was always the only one walking
down the street eating because I couldn’t be bothered to waste precious time
to sit and finish. I used to get annoyed with the weird looks people would
shoot me and I’d want to tell them “Come on! It’s just food. Why do meals have
to be such an EVENT?” I was so impatient.

Kathy Doll

Fantastic article!

Tere

I have promised myself to never say refer to the states to “America” ‘cuz
as you said in the rest of the “Americas” we learn in elementary school we’re
americans. I encountered this as a latin american studying in the US for a
while.

JP

Eh. While quite a few of these are true, this assumes that all Americans
are arrogant and completely ignorant of the outside world. Yes, I said
Americans. I realize that America is two continents, but when people from
outside of the western hemisphere say “America,” they’re referring to the
U.S.

The
10 most embarrassing American stereotypes (that are kinda true)

Trekking
the Planet: Teaching geography from a traveler’s perspective

What
it’s like when an American visits Australia for the first time

When
did you first know you were a traveler?

How
to be a Latin American hippie

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