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11 things you should never say to a Canadian

By Candice Walsh On April 8,
2014 · 31
Comments

Photo: hobvias
sudoneighm

Most of us are a peace-lovin’
bunch. We don’t go around flaunting our national pride, but we’re quick to
defend our Canadian roots.

1. “Yeah you guys have healthcare, but it sucks.”

An American actually said this to me a few weeks ago. If there’s one thing
most Canadians agree on, it’s that we’re extremely grateful for free healthcare,
and we don’t mind paying higher taxes to have it. (Those who aren’t haven’t had
health issues.) I’m not sure where this idea came from that the quality is lower
than elsewhere, and sure sometimes our wait times to see specialists are a
little atrocious, but we’re still pretty happy about not having to pay $3,000
for blood work.

We also get kickass maternity leave. A whole year of it.

2. “Your military is puny.”

Because other countries generally think we’re okay people, and they don’t
wanna fight us.

3. “You’re from Canada — you must be used to the cold. Ha-ha. I’m
original.”

I admit I sometimes joke about this myself. I was roaming around Santorini
recently on a sunny day, wearing only a t-shirt and shorts. A local saw me and
did a double take. “It’s too cold! Come back in the summer!” And then I tossed
out a line about me being used to it as a Canadian. Ha-ha.

In reality, it’s only the far north that gets those extreme temperatures.
Most of the major cities, like Vancouver
and Toronto,
typically experience milder winters.

Or, when our winters are shit, they’re usually offset by brilliant summers of
30-degree temperatures and nonstop sunshine. Really. It’s not the Arctic
Circle.

4. “Canadians are so nice!”

We’re not all nice. I don’t intend to defend douchebaggery, but
generalizations can be frustrating. The biggest asshole I’ve ever met while
travelling, actually, was another Canadian. I told him I was from Newfoundland
and Labrador, and he cracked some joke about “redneck Newfies” that made my
blood boil. Canadians can be aggressively loyal to their home cities or
provinces.

5. “All Canadians wear flags on their backpacks so they’re not confused with
Americans.”

People automatically assume I’m an American when I travel. It’s a big
country. I mean, the state of California has more people than the entire country
of Canada.

And while I’m vehemently proud of my Canadianness, wearing a flag is
unnecessary, and it’s silly to think we all do it. Who cares if they think I’m
American?

More
like this: 7 signs you were born and raised in Canada

If people are treating you poorly, it might not actually have anything to do
with being American (or any other citizenship). You might just be an
asshole.

6. “You say ‘about’ funny!”

NO WE DON’T. SHUT UP.

7. “You say ‘eh’ all the time!”

Big fat lie. I’m from the East Coast, where it’s more common to punctuate a
sentence with “hey?” or various other Newfoundlandisms.

8. “I’ve been to Canada! I visited Toronto.”

Canada is incomprehensibly massive. Most of my friends haven’t been to the
other side of my province, never mind the damned country. The diversity is
insane. You cannot compare Newfoundland and Labrador to Quebec or British
Columbia, and vice versa. They’re practically their own countries. So when you
make Canadian assessments after only seeing an extremely small part of it,
you’re just showcasing your own ignorance.

9. “Margaret Atwood sucks.”

We will fight to the death.

10. “The only interesting thing to happen in Canadian politics is ROB
FORD!”

As if finally we have our own undeniably corrupt politician and now cannot be
triumphant about our ‘functional’ government. Did you know that most Canadians
abhor Stephen Harper, although he won the last election despite being the first
prime minister to have his government ruled in contempt of Parliament? Or that
the entire province of Quebec came very, very close to declaring independence
and separating from Canada? It gets real up here.

11. “You’re a Canadian and you don’t watch hockey? That’s not
right.”

We’re not all hockey lovers, although even I love the pride invoked by the
sport. I mean, we’re a country that legalized selling alcohol at bars at 5am
just so people could get up and watch the 2014 Olympics gold medal game. Pride.

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About The Author

Candice Walsh

Candice Walsh is a Professional Experience Collector and full-time writer,
blogger, and inventor of job titles that don't make much sense. She's based out
of St. John's, Newfoundland. Follow
her website for more shenanigans.

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view all → Candice Walsh

Ben

It’s definitely annoying hearing people make fun of our military size,
however the excuse that no one wants to fight us is the reason for this is
absurd and our military is definitely extremely active in conflicts around the
globe. our military is also considered extremely well trained considering it’s
size and annual budget…. when people say we have no military cause people like
us, it sounds just as ignorant and as annoying as the people making fun of
it’s size in the first place

http://www.candicedoestheworld.com/ Candice
Walsh

You’re right. Also, don’t take me so seriously.

Jeremy Crosby

The reason we dont have a large military is strictly due to the fact that
no one challenges canada! Believe me though let someone challenge us and it
wont be hard to pull together a large military force. The USA had us fight
along side of them in almost every major war and there are quotes of
canadian solder throwing down their guns and fighting with thier hands
during wars. Other than that, im canadian and i live in the US and ive been
all over the US, i have yet to see any difference between US and CAN
citizens untill u get down south. If u want to see nice people and extremely
proud people u havent seen anything until ur in Kentucky or
Oklahoma.

Griffen

Ew Kentucky.

Jolly

We are peaceful people. No worries for us.. we don’t go out creating
chaos everywhere we go.

Stu

No Bieber comments?

I find it strange that in one point that you use Toronto as an example and
in the next you act like being there doesn’t count as visiting Canada… Is it
or is it not part of Canada?

http://www.candicedoestheworld.com/ Candice
Walsh

Reread. I said that only visiting one city/area doesn’t qualify as seeing
Canada. Doesn’t matter where it is. I’ll work on the Bieber
jokes.

frankgrimes78

I advise you stop reading comments, I personally enjoyed it. It was
well thought out and articulate, who would’ve thought Americans wouldn’t
like it though? It mentions them, and doesn’t talk about their gold medals
or football/basketball/baseball players and or celebrities. As those are
the things most important in the states right? Meanwhile the same people
who broke the world will never be charged, or even have their assets
seized all while they continue to cut the food stamps and other benefits
for the people that now need them because of the financial loss they
suffered at the hands of the douchebags who won’t ever be penalized for
it. Sorry, kind of a bad week. I really did like the article.

Matt

It would be great if the us got government health care so candians would
shut up about it. Half of this article is complaining-bragging. It’s so tough
being better than people from the US. This attitude of superiority taints most
interactions I’ve had with Canadians. My advice is stop. You are not your
healthcare system and your good relations with rest of world are less to do
with being such good people than have a small population and not being on
anyones radar. Americans and Canadians are not so different
really.

http://www.candicedoestheworld.com/ Candice
Walsh

Indeed, we’re not.

Nicole

Still remembering when in Italy, there was a girl wearing a Roots Canada
sweatshirt. Well, there were other Canadians (other then us) nearby who asked
her where she was from in Canada…to which she sheepishly replied…I’m from New
York…BUSTED! And as a Nova Scotian, we were mistaken for Scottish from
apparently an Italian language teacher or linguist, but also by someone from
Toronto…lolz. And people gotta lighten up..I took this as tongue and
cheek…mostly

Melanie S

It’s a compliment to be mistaken as Scottish! When I travel in the UK I
feel right at home because the accents are so much like
Newfoundland.

kzpbb2

I have a number of relatives who are Canadians and they would frequently
remind me when I said I was an American that they too are Americans by virtue
of living on the continent of North America! Beauty, eh?

Bud

Come on now lets not hate on rob ford.

Griffen

Living in a border city, and having vacationed all over Canada (Vancouver
is beautiful, as is Prince Edward Island). I can say that some stereotypes of
Canadians seems to be true.

1. Canadians do come across the border and purchase a large number of
medical products (asthma equipment, wheelchairs etc etc) I guess it’s because
of wait times for these in Canada? But anyways, the conversation on healthcare
comes up a lot with Canadians as dentist and medical warehouses advertise to
them.

2. Canadians suck at tipping in the US. See the study conducted by the
Toronto Star.

3. Having gone to Toronto for nearly my entire life as a little
“stay-cation” I do feel like Canadians are nicer. Each time I looked lost or
confused at the train platform or on the street someone always comes up to me
an helps (though this is also common in my own city it’s a rarity in NYC,
Boston, or LA)

On a final note, loved the article.

Some random Canadian

Your #2 comment.

I go to Boston every year and there is one simple thing that really
pisses me off and quite frankly either lowers my tip or they don’t get one
at all. I’ve gone to a few restaurants with a group of friends and out of
the 5 restaurants we went to over the weekend only 1 of them asked us.

“Do you want this all on one bill or separate?”

I for one do not want to pay for what my friends eat or share their bill.
I want to pay for my own food that I ordered. It’s a simple thing but really
it’s quite rude to just throw everything on one bill without asking. That’s
not good customer service.

Griffen

Really? That’s rude? I mean come on, they ask that EVERYWHERE!
Sometimes a host (A mom, dad or boss) will pay the entire tab, or everyone
pools their cash together to pay the bill. It’s common place, in the
states or in Canada.

Melanie S

You do realise that you can ASK for a separate bill? It is MUCH more
common for people to just split from my experience, so I don’t see why the
wait staff should have to ask. It’s up to you to ask them. That’s not a
reason not to tip!!

Clive Bartlett

Two ladies are riding the train out of Boston….
Lady #1: I go into
Boston every Friday to get scrod.
Lady #2: So do I, but I didn’t
think it had a past tense.

Carissa

I live in the states and usually one person pays for the whole bill. If
im out with friends we split it ourselves, it saves us from being the
douche and asking to split it. We will put 1s next to the first bill 2s
next to the 2nd bill and so forth.

PeteG

I do say ‘eh’. All the time. Most Canadians do say it but don’t realise
they do. I refuse to believe a Canadian hasn’t said “I know, eh?” (at least).
Far better than the really annoying (and American) “riiight?” Eh can be used
in many different ways. It can be used where ever you use “right” or “huh”
whereas they both cannot always be used where you say “eh”. Proud of my “eh”.
Don’t take my “eh” away. Now, off to poutine and a beer. X

Jolly

wrong, that is a French or Itallian or Native decent, I say AYE, or HEY.
nothing close to eh as in Bed

Sinnister

Why do Canadians prefer doggy style when they have sex?
So they can both
watch the hockey game.
Thank you. Thank you. I’ll be here all
week.

frankgrimes78

Haven’t heard that in years, lol.

Roguewave1

You need to booze it up at 5:00 AM to watch a hockey game? Really? No
wonder youse guys require someone else to tap for your medical
fees.

EliteCarryOfficer

From one of obnoxious American to a nice Canadian shut your damn Poutine
Hole nobody gives a shit what you should and shouldn’t say to a Canadian. No
one ever has. Although, I’ve been Toronto. It’s nice.

Melanie S

From one Newfoundlander to another, our winters are really cold compared to
most American states/cities. Also, in Southern Quebec the winter is freezing
as heck even for me. Oh, and I saw those pictures from last week where the
snow was up to someone’s roof on the West coast of Newfoundland. So I think
the cold is a fair comment, honestly. And a lot of us do wear Canadian flags
when we travel (and yes, I travel a lot and current live abroad) because of
pride and shit. And I know Americans that wear Canadian flags because the US
of A made some international enemies when Bush Jr. was in power, just
sayin’.

I agree with everything else. What’s with all the rude commenters here?
It’s like the internet has been taken over by jackasses lately. If you don’t
care then don’t read the article! Jeeze.

frankgrimes78

Some of it is true, and I as an Ontarian will openly admit I absolutely
love people from Newfoundland. I don’t mean that in any kind of offensive
way, it’s just that I’ve had fun, unique and utterly hilarious times with
Every Newfoundlander I’ve ever known and there is plenty of people in that
category.

Also I’m sorry, but you are correct, and it is nothing new. People online
have taken the habit of spewing hateful, mean things at the first sign of
someone saying, typing anything that they don’t agree with, goes against any
of their religious/political views etc.
Finally I feel for you SOOO much.
We had a bad winter here in N.Ont(Also let’s not forget our neighbours to
the south got some terrible winter weather all season as well, just
sayin)but compared to out east we were warm. Anyway that’s my personal
theory why Newfoundlanders kick ass. When your community can be shut down by
the horrible weather, you have to depend on your neighbour, and they you. So
that type of thing just becomes normal, thus it’s also why most Canadians
are generally nice. Lots of us who grew up else where were still raised the
same way, I know it’s probably stupid but just thought I’d let you know
there are plenty of nice people online too.

John Gallant

I feel used. This article is pretty bad. You forgot “Not all Newfies are
funny, even though they think it’s a rite”

MHF

Why would a Canadian be bothered if somebody said these things? I’m
Canadian – almost all of them are true.

Also, this article would be better without the left wing
politics.

Dunkenstein

Most Canadiabs abhor Stephen Harper– source?

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