Subject: Golden Saloon
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 1997 19:59:03 -1000

A guy comes home three sheets to the wind and all three sheets ripping
bad Budweiser sloshing around in his belly like a keg adrift in a
roiling sea.
He sloshes through the door and is met by his wife, who is scowling,
figuring he's been out jumping new bones.

"Where the hell you been all night?" she demands.

"At this fantastic new saloon," he says.  "The Golden Saloon.

Everything there is golden."

"Bullshit!  There's no such place!"

Guy says, "Sure there is!  Joint's got huge golden doors, a golden
floor. Hell, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the
phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon.  She
calls up the place to check her husband's story.  "Is this the Golden
Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
 
"Yes, it is," bartender answers.
 
"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Sure do."

"Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."

"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey,
Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy who pissed in your saxophone."
-- 

