DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED

You all know about the Darwin Awards - 
It's an annual honor given to the person who did the 
gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves 
in the most extraordinarily stupid way

The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine
which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip 
a free soda out of it.

In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who attached a jet
engine (JATO) unit to his car and crashed into a cliff 
several hundred feet above the road.

And now, the 1997 winner:  Larry Waters of Los Angeles-one of the
few Darwin winners to survive his award-winning accomplishment.

Larry's boyhood dream was to fly.  When he graduated from high
school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot.
Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him.  
When he was finally discharged, he had to satisfy himself 
with watching jets fly over his backyard.

One day, Larry, had a bright idea.  He decided to fly.  He went to
the local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons
and several tanks of helium.  The weather balloons, when fully
inflated, would measure more than four feet across.

Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn
chair. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the
balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was
still only a few feet above the ground.
Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a
six- pack of Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun-figuring he 
could pop a few balloons when it was time to descend-and went 
back to the floating lawn chair.  

He tied himself in along with his pellet gun and
provisions. Larry's plan was to lazily float up to a height 
of about 30 feet above >his back yard after severing the 
anchor and in a few hours come back down.

Things didn't quite work out that way.
When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he
didn't float lazily up to 30 or so feet. 
Instead  he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon.
He didn't level of at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet. 
After climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet.  
At that height he couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, 
lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble.  
So he stayed there, drifting, cold and frightened, 
for more than 14 hours. 

Then he really got in trouble. He found himself drifting into 
the primary approach corridor of Los Angeles International Airport.
A United pilot first spotted Larry.  He radioed the tower and
described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun.  
Radar confirmed  the existence of an object floating 11,000 
feet above the airport.

LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter
was dispatched to investigate.
LAX is right on the ocean.  Night was falling and the 
offshore breeze began to flow.  
It carried Larry out to sea with the helicopter in
hot pursuit.
Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the
crew determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted 
to close in for a rescue but the draft from the blades would 
push Larry away whenever they neared.

Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred
feet above Larry and lowered a rescue line. 
Larry snagged the line and was hauled back to shore.  
The difficult maneuver was flawlessly executed by
the helicopter crew.
As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting
members of the LAPD for violating LAX airspace.
As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover
the daring rescue asked why he had done it.    
Larry stopped, turned and replied nonchalantly, 
"A man can't just sit around."

Let's hear it for Larry Waters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner.

Submitted by:  Russell Brunet @ SONOMA.EDU
